Quit your whining, eat roast beef, be a man: This South Florida sandwich shop is owned by a major TikTok star

The owner of Boston Beef by the Sea restaurant, in Lauderdale-By-The-Sea, is a 60-something Bostonian who wants you to quit whining, eat roast beef and be a man.

At least 4.5 million people have heard — and laughed at — his peculiar brand of advice: a parody of toxic masculinity and the idea that men never learn from their mistakes. He goes by the social media handle @BostonBeAMan, and has racked up 4 million followers as a viral TikTok star and almost half a million more on Instagram.

In the thick of last summer’s pandemic wave, Boston Be A Man’s 10-second, tongue-in-cheek videos exploded across social media, mocking all manner of manly shortcomings. Topics range from men’s reluctance to shop in supermarkets (“Don’t go food shopping. Starve. Die. Be a man.”) to personal health (”Deny medical attention. Be a man.”) to fighting at the bar (“If you’re in bar brawl, smash a bottle off your head to set the tone. Be a man.”).

In real life Boston Be A Man goes by “Harmon” – not his actual name; he’s too popular on TikTok to risk stalking by overzealous fans – and is a 63-year-old, semiretired loan officer living near Boston. At Boston Beef by the Sea, a sandwich shop selling roast beef on the corner of Commercial Boulevard and A1A, Be A Man is “chief marketing operator,” a fancy title meaning that he’s a hands-off promoter, using his social-media muscle to tempt new customers.

“A couple of years ago, I thought I was going to retire, but that’s all changed now since Be A Man,” he says, biting into a three-way sandwich (roast beef, a slice of white American cheese, James River BBQ sauce) at a table outside Boston Beef. “So I love the fans but I hate the fans.”

Still, all the fans make Boston Be A Man great for business at Boston Beef, says Taso Nikolakopoulos, who owns Boston Beef with Harmon, Harmon’s brother Carlo Caponigro, and Carlo’s wife, Francesca. The TikTok star shows up once a month for meet-and-greets outside the shop, mugging for selfies, a perfect mascot for silly, often outrageous manliness. Although the Boston Be A Man TikTok and his roast beef shop came together independently, lately, marrying the two brands has brought droves of new customers.

Many customers, Nikolakopoulos says, don’t know his restaurant’s North Shore-style roast beef is Boston’s regional specialty, like cheesesteaks in Philadelphia. Boston Beef serves 18 versions of the sandwich from the Floridian (pickles, red onion, coleslaw on ciabatta) to the Beefdale (Italian-style roast beef with tomato and red onion), along with cheesesteaks and “rockin’ lobstah rolls.”

“What’s manlier than roast beef?” Nikolakopoulos says. “Roast beef is getting more international because of social media. Be A Man is really helping to pack them in.”

Because of his popularly, fans won’t stop hounding Harmon. He’s not a comedian and barely knew what TikTok was until last year. Now Be A Man acolytes follow him everywhere, quoting one-liners at him at airport terminals, flagging him down for selfies. On a recent Friday a fan named Aaron spotted Be A Man on the sidewalk, screamed “Be a Man!” and extended a fist bump.

Of course, Be A Man had a job to do: shill.

“It’s my place. Grab a menu,” Harmon tells the vacationer from Connecticut, who replies, “Oh, really?” and looks incredulous at the news.

Customers won’t find him shaving ribbons of top round on the deli slicer. That would be Nikolakopoulos. Last year, Nikolakopoulos sold his father’s 50-year-old business on Boston’s North Shore, John’s Roast Beef & Seafood, and set his sights slinging roast beef to snowbirds in Lauderdale-By-The-Sea.

The Boston Be A Man TikTok is the invention of a Boston comedy group called Breaking Balls, which includes Harmon, Carlo and their creative directors, Tonzo Sutton and Joe McCall. The group, at first, produced clips for a YouTube chat show called “I Love Mondays” out of their small studio in Swampscott, Mass. Carlo Caponigro, Sutton and McCall came up with an idea to write short one-liners from the perspective of an old-school Bostonian, a tough guy who grew up hard and short-tempered and full of hilariously illogical advice that stubborn men of a certain age always have. They invited Harmon, who’s 6-foot-3 and broad-shouldered like the foreman on a wrecking crew.

“My brother was perfect as the face for this,” says Carlo Caponigro. “Just look at him: he’s a beast. He looks like he’s been through some s—. And people are tired of things being so PC. You can’t give someone a dirty look these days without getting taken to court. But we keep [the jokes] right on the line so they don’t offend people too much.”

Much like his breakout TikTok video, which racked up 1.6 million views and turned Boston Be A Man into an overnight cult success. On it, images of Home Depot flicker across the screen as Be A Man says, “If you can’t find what you’re looking for at the store, don’t ask for help. Walk out. Be a man.”

“Obviously most of the stuff is tongue-in-cheek and a lot of it is handed down from my father,” says Harmon, a part-time Fort Lauderdale resident. “He’s blue-collar, grew up during the Depression and was always tough on us. He didn’t call girls ‘girls.’ He called them ‘broads,’ and I got a kick out of it because it offended girls sometimes. The girls laugh at it now because they know I’m joking around.”

Of course, the idea to parody white toxic masculinity is hardly new – even with a Boston accent – but his homespun wisdom, always apolitical and lighthearted, has attracted a wide following of college kids and millennials. Some 45 percent of his social media followers are women, he says.

All the attention means Boston Be A Man can’t go anywhere without hearing his catchphrase. He currently charges $75 for a personalized message on Cameo. Actors Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, comedian Bill Burr and New England Patriots defensive end Chase Winovich follow him on social. Timberland boots, a softball bat company and various strip clubs have DMed him on TikTok for endorsements. He records a podcast, the “Be A Man Experience,” with actor John Fiore of HBO’s “The Sopranos.”

Harmon has no plans to stop recording anytime soon. Boston Be A Man has released more than 700 videos. He’s has recorded more than 3,000.

“So if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, you’re going to see my ugly face around for years,” Harmon says.

“I like that [the TikToks] are 10 seconds or less. That’s all I can remember to record, anyway. Like most men, I have a very short attention span.”